Cold Oats
9:10 AM
I stare at my cold bowl of oatmeal sitting on my office desk and realize it’s 12:20pm, and I still haven’t had a chance to finish my breakfast. I laugh inwardly as I remember a conversation I had earlier in the week with a young mom who asks me, “So just what do you do in the office?”
I wanted to sarcastically comment, “Oh, nothing I guess…. I just sit and wait for the phone to ring.” As if being in the ministry is really just sitting around, not doing anything much at all.
“Oh, so you’re a missionary.” I can just hear it coming… another glances at me puzzled over what in the world keeps me so busy... But what could you possibly to do to fill up that many hours in your day? I mean you're a girl... You don’t even preach, right?
Do you ever feel misunderstood? Like no one else out there really gets it? Or understands what you’re going through?
Do you ever feel judged? As if you can do nothing right? As if even if you did, you’d still be condemned and doing something wrong?
I’m often reminded that Satan is the great accuser. His ways are guilt, condemnation, frustration, pain, doubt. “You’ll never be good enough.” “You can’t make that much of a difference.” “What talents do you have to offer?”
At times, people are quick enough to judge, and through their judging, we feel condemned. Accused, condemned, guilty.... But why God? I’m just trying to serve you!
I heard a sermon the other day... that the majority of us will live the most of our lives being or feeling misunderstood. That didn't set well with me. I'm Heather: the people pleaser. I want everyone to be happy with me, my life and work. I want to bring a smile to every single face I possibly can. If someone’s not pleased, then maybe I did something wrong, right? And I quickly analyze my life to see what I did wrong.
Recently, one of my counselors bluntly told me, "Heather, you've got to stop. You cannot please both men and God. The Bible says it's impossible, so quit trying."
One day, we'll all stand before the throne of God and give account. Account for all we did, account for every way we spent our time, account for all we did or chose not to, gave or chose not to give, told or chose not to tell. I'm learning that being understood or praised, misunderstood or criticized, I must live for one thing, and one thing only.
Live, for the audience of ONE. We don't have enough time to worry about what everyone else thinks about us. Shouldn't just knowing that He approves be our enough? What’s my greatest motivation? Knowing that someday I’ll face the Lover and Creator of my soul. You know how you can walk into a room and if you get the “head nod” then that’s all the greeting you need? You know you’re chill, or welcome? That is what I live for: His nod of approval.
Matthew 5:11,12a says, “Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven:
Not a one of us likes it when evil is said against us. But God says, "Hey! How’s your response?”
Rejoice? What? But I don’t like it when I feel others accusing me. But I don’t like criticism when I’m trying so desperately hard to do everything right I possibly can. But God, He commands us… to rejoice! And then I love the rest of verse 12, “for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.” As if the Lord gently says, “Honey, you’re not the first, and you won’t be the last. This thing is common to all.”
Joshua reminds us that God will fight for us. He is our great defender. Joshua 23:10,”For the Lord your God, he it is that fighteth for you.” And then He encourages us to keep the main thing, the main thing in the following verse, “Take good heed therefore unto yourselves, that ye love the Lord your God.”
Misunderstood? Perhaps. Attacked? Maybe. Condemned, for sure. Do I deserve it? Absolutely. I’m a sinner just like everyone else. I make stupid mistakes all the time. But what does Joshua exhort us to do? He brings us right back to commandment number one. Because commandment number one is what really is important: Love Him.
Come what may, may we keep loving the Lord our God. May we always endeavor by the grace of God to live for His nod. If we live for His nod, we’ll find that one day nothing else truly mattered.
2 comments
Usually I never comment on blogs but your blog is so convincing that I never stop myself to say something about it. scr888
ReplyDeleteReally interesting and helpful article.!! Keep posting looking forward for your next updates.Thank you!!
ReplyDeleteจีคลับ