Have you ever sat down and wondered what bothers God? In the past week alone, I've had two good friends ask me the same question... "Heather, what bothers you?" This morning, as I was reading, the same question popped into my head about God. "O faithless and perverse generation..." The word faith always has a way of jumping off the page at me and this time I wanted to cross out the less with the lead in my pencil.
Can you imagine what an insult it must be to an Almighty God for us to limit His almightiness? Can you imagine being known for something, famous for something... and yet having someone deny that very essence of who you are? I wonder if God had a list of things that bother him... if faithless would be somewhere close to the top?
My eyes caught three words on a sign this morning and as I was seeking the heart of God, it's as if He revealed to me a special gift He's given me over the course of the past two years. Three grief friends, we'll called them.
Faith, is obviously the first. Faith is believing in the dark, when there's not even a crack of light bleeding through the bleak blackness. True faith sits with the little girl in the back of the station wagon at the end of Miracle of 34th street and states, "I believe, I believe, I can't see but I believe." Even in the worst of circumstances, faith chooses to keep believing. When there is no light, no rhyme, no reason, no answers, faith still hopes.
Hope is an unusual little friend. Many times we use hope as a wish, such as, "I hope I can go to Disney World next year." But I'm learning that hope does not have to depend on circumstances or on a series of good events or favor. Hope doesn't just sit back and wait for the next break, or 'I just won the lottery' moment. Hope does not rest on finances, belongings, or happiness. Hope is not founded upon a what, but rather a Who. Hope does not simply wait for better days to come. Hope is secure when cast onto the deepest waters like an anchor upon the Lover of our soul.
Love... and the greatest of these is love. Angela is about ten years old. Her mom begged me to speak with her after Bible study one night, because Angela doesn't believe that God would love her and want to save her from her sins. After speaking with Angela, I realized why. Absence of paternal love creates distrust. If my Dad doesn't love me, why in the world would God even care?
I was blessed by loving parents. I grew up knowing about love, believing that I was loved and accepted. I learned more about love when I met Daniel. I got my fairy tale Disney romance story of "falling in love" as the world calls it. I read a ton of books before marriage to prepare myself to better love and respect my mate, and then I learned daily about love for 3 years and 8 months while married to Daniel. Together we learned what love meant when we left our country, family, friends, customs, and commodities to fly to Peru, giving ourselves to this dear country. But nothing has taught me what true love is as much as 2 years of grief. What's good about grief? Nothing... at first it may seem, but there really are blessings, like my three friends.
It's easy to love when someone else brings you what you want, shows you attention, compliments, adds favor or benefits your life. But when God strips nearest and dearest, when God goes freezing cold silent on you for weeks on end and you can see no light, no favor, no attention, no added happiness and instead are seemingly forced to endure pitch black darkness, emptiness, loneliness, hardship, and haunting loss, and yet choose to love and give and be broken for others... now that's true love. Isn't that what Christ did after all? The cross, the nails, the pain, the spit, the rejection, the sting of death afresh, HE endured to show us true love.
Today, I choose gratitude for three grief friends that I have come to intimately know on my journey. Without them, I would not be the person I am today.
And now abide faith, hope, love, these three, but the greatest of these is love. 1 Cor. 13:13
